The Life of Alexis Perkins

The Life of Alexis Perkins

10-09 (NSFW)

March 11th, 2019, 11:00 am

Average Rating: 5.00

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EmilyAnnCoons, March 11th, 2019, 11:00 am

Elisa spends a moment in the shower to calm herself down. Now calmed, she is able to reflect on her own feelings.

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Belgarel (Guest), March 11th, 2019, 3:42 pm

Past

Loved? As in, not anymore? Sounds grim.

Also, it may be unintentional, but "so badly" is repeated in tile 1 and 2.

Good. This page is better. I was beginning to be bored, seing the same gag twise in a row, revolving around nudity just after a talk about... nudity. Was almost wondering where the story had gone. Cute moment.

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EmilyAnnCoons, March 11th, 2019, 7:59 pm

@Belgarel: I don't mean to sound mean or anything, but I guess I don't quite get what you mean about the "gag being repeated twice". You mean Elisa drawing the sexy things? I just wanted to show she was trying to focus on her job but failing miserably. Drawing art for Amanda is literally how Elisa makes her living. So, she was literally "at work" in that sense.

Also, keep in mind that narration is being presented as past tense. Nothing grim involved, just Elisa recounting these moments to the reader ^^"

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Guest (Guest), March 17th, 2019, 8:34 pm

@EmilyAnnCoons:

When did she become the narrator? As you can see that's rather clumsy now. It doesn't seem you need her as the narrator. If you need to show her thoughts just do so on the fly. Not as narration.

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EmilyAnnCoons, March 17th, 2019, 8:41 pm

@Guest: Elisa has been the narrator since the beginning of the chapter because Alexis won't be a regular character through these events. As you've maybe noticed, the last couple pages haven't even had Alexis around. It doesn't make sense to have Alexis narrate when she isn't even there for the events.